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Rihanna turns to Melina (see: S&M) to direct her new video for "I Found Love in a Hopeless PLace', who turns in a sort of Sid & Nancy at the council estate love story, including pill popping, shoplifting, ass tattoo / smacking sessions and Ri Ri throwing up purple ribbons in the street. I can't believe I'm posting anything by Calvin Harris, but there you go: this is as pleasurable as guilty pleasures get.

How did you spend your year since the first Drankenstein mix gave some of the dirtiest, southest rappers of all time a purple nurple they would never forget? I spent it mostly guzzling up new skills, greedier than Lil' Tunechi on a relapse sizzurp bender, and collecting gems from the brain of the dragon. Who ready? Who runnin'? First hater that steps up, is the first one that gets tossed out.